Let me start by going back to my first church. When I was a child my parents started attending a local Ontario church called Faith Community Church. I believe I was about 6 when we started going there, and I left that church when I was about 20 years old(I won't go into the details about why, they don't really matter anymore). Basically I grew up in a church where everyone knew my family, everyone knew me, and we all knew everyone else. Eventually, as things go, I grew out of this church. Being the young 20 year old that I was, I didn't want to, and didn't have any interest in, finding a new place of worship. I was in college, I was working a job, and I was pursuing other things. I won't say I walked away from God, but I didn't place him at the center of my life. I eventually ended up a Azusa Pacific University(a private christian university) to finish my BA and had to go to chapel 3 times a week (I thought that satisfied my requirement for "church"). I still had my love for Jesus, but I didn't realize that I needed more.
Fast forward to August 2011, I had been laid off from my dream job of teaching Kindergarten and was offered (or forced) into taking a job teaching Middle School (advice-don't ever tell God you will NEVER do something, I like to think he takes this as a challenge). My world was turned upside-down and I was the most alone I had ever been in my life. God told me then(in August of 2011) to go to WOL, and I told him, "NO thanks-that church is HUGE and I don't think it will ever feel like home." ----Oh Whitney, when will you ever learn!-- August 2011-April 2012 was the hardest time in my life. God took me to my knees-literally-a number of times. I cried ALL the time and I genuinely hated my job. I kept telling myself, you never studied for being a middle school teacher, it is too hard, this is the worst. Basically I had the worst attitude about everything in my life. I lived for the weekends and had anxious attacks every Sunday night. I let the devil separate me from many things and people I cared about. I felt like God wasn't answering any of my questions, and many times I felt like he didn't care. I cried out to Him to take me out of the situation, I cried out to be saved, and a few times I cried out for Him to just take my life. I didn't want to do the job, so I just figured I'd ask him to bring me out of this world and to heaven. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't know how to get myself out. God was breaking me to bring me back to Him, Oh how I am thankful for this situation now.
In April of last year my sister Haylee invited me to go to church with her, she was attending this wonderful church and she just thought I would love the worship. She was one of the few people who knew how horrible my life was (my perception), and knew that God could help. I said yes, and off to church I went (on Easter--it was the least I could do for God). Can you guess what church she was going to? Yup, WOL. WOL had just opened a new venue in Upland. The service was a bit uncomfortable and it took me a few songs to get into worship, but by the end I knew I needed to go the following week, and the week after........and this is how it gets even more divine. After service I walked out of the building only to run into my old youth pastors. They have always been there for spiritual markers in my life and it was such a comfort to see them there. God was showing me that YES this church can feel small, this church can feel like family, this church can be your home. (for reference, I think WOL has about 14,000 members)
The following week all I could think about was going back to church and praising God again. I had been given a little taste of his goodness, his grace, and I knew I needed more! No He didn't change my circumstance, but I knew this was new beginning. I knew I was going on a new journey. I had found my home, I had found my God, I had found fellowship.
God had told me to start going to church months prior, and I ignored His request and told Him no. His request was for my benefit, it was for my destiny, it was for my help. I love how he loves me, I love how his will comes through. I am thankful that HE kept calling to me. I am thankful for my sister inviting me. I am thankful for WOL.
--This post has a few more parts to it, but here is the first installment......
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